Monday, 13 February 2012

herzchen

Would you like to sin
With Elinor Glyn
On a tiger skin?
Or would you prefer
To err with her
On some other fur?


p.s. - wow....very very rarely do i find jst few lines saying it all...i dnt knw who the writer is...bt i think its Elinor Glyn....if not....dnt knw who but i read it in Thorn Birds...

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

Journey

What would life have been without Harry Potter, cant imagine.
Watched Deathly Hallows - 2 yesterday, and saw Sorcerer's Stone just now, what a change yaar, simply amazing the way all the characters have grown, and stupefied to see the way Rowling has so clearly thought out and linked the plot through the entire series, as Ron would say Wicked !!
before you read further you will be sorted into your houses, you know konse, and here you have the free will to choose, there's no sorting hat, although we have a snorting hat if interested.;p
now talking about the characters growing, Hermione and Ginny becoming hot babes from baby girls, Harry and Ron getting muscular n taller n taller, in-fact now they have baby boys n gals, chubby li'l round faced Neville growing into a snake killer ;p, Snape turning out to be a good guy eventually, Hagrid still remains hairy giant, Prof Albus Percivial Wulfric Brian Dumbledore a.k.a Dumbledore is only available in portraits now as he is no more [bt I hav gt my own personal dumbly-dore (u knw who) ;p], Voldy finally died his own hands and harry remains to be a wizarding miracle by surviving the killing curse yet again, the four creators of marauders map all dead, and many more characters, even Draco has shown signs of improvement, if i strt mentioning the whole cast, it wil take ages n pages.
Now what more to say, just that I am really glad that Harry Potter series happened during my lifetime, there are many many many more famous writers and works of fiction, but I owe my reading addiction to this.
The Boy who lived, lost, suffered, loved, got loved, survived and finally killed and again lived happily ever after.

P.S : I stole Rite Skeeter's quill and hoodwinked it with an immensely powerful spell and it now writes such pieces ;p 

Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Metro Maniacs - Metro Man-yucks

Heyya...
well...its taking a hell lot more tym than i thot it wud in structuring these maniacs....its jst lyk u hav got a season of episodes ready to be aired on tv, bt are nt able to decide which one to go in first. same is the scene here...many incomplete and uncensored are lying here n there scattered in my mail draft box, mobile draft box, brain draft box..(wish dre were sum in demand draft box for me... ;p) it seems draw of lots d best option to pick, complete, edit n post.
so here we are this time, talking bout MAN as in human being in general and not any gender biases...! so how does a man i.e. human being behaves when suddenly public transport becomes sophisticated, sumwat comfortable, air conditioned...i say...its js lyk buying a new gadget, gizmo...initially u wil take xtreme gud care...lamination karaoge...scratch guard lagaoge....cover mein daaloge...bt fir dheere dheere...ek scratch padega...fir do...fir aur aane do...ki farak penda hai...!!! den u wil js keep it anywhre...dhoool padegi uspe...galti se sabzi bhi giregi uspe...etcc etccc. metro bhi ab it seems scratch wali stage cross karne wali hai. so lemme jst bring on the characters in diff categories as we go ahead...

SpitsVilla : here we have men trying to make delhi metro a long lost sibling of dilli ki buses and mumbai ki local. there is no particular lead actor here but bhaiya from our previous post leads the charts. it seems kaafi der se unko baandh ke rakha hua tha metro mein thookne se...now they have jst broken thru, ab nahi raha jaata...!! ;p  here r a few styles they choose, Olympic Spit - metro and platform ke beech wala gap, saalon ka aim to dekho, archery fail ho jayegi. Pigeon Spit - metro platform se neeche road pe....speed, distance, time ki perfect application. there are many more spits but usse zada imp aur categories hain.

Pisstol : here is one thing that i wud neva neva neva have imagined, even in buses or local or anywhre...bt this bhaiya (specifically) has left his mark here too...jo metro ke dabbe ke beech joint hota hai naa...wahan pe bhaiya ne apne bachche ko susu karaya....bhari metro mein din dahade....itne gawahon ke saamne...judge sahab..!....main hota na wahan to sahi mein ya to rakh ke deta usko kaan ke neeche ya complaint karta zarooooor....bloody hell f#4*er....(this incident is aankhon dekhi by my ofc colleague, reported by me)

Mygration : sarkar ne kaha pehla dabba chod do...old unkle ne kaha mere liye seat chod do...dmrc ne kaha pehle chadhna chod do...ab tume kehte ho ki station aane se pehle chalna bhi chod dun...(devdas style)... this above dialog is perfectly suited for many ppl traveling daily, both males n females. i ve been observing this for past 1.5 mnth, saala last stop aane se pehle hi log metro mein aage se peeche ki taraf chalna strt ho jaate hain...and for only one reason, pichla door escalators ke paas aata hai. hadh hai...n iss walk ki strt karti hain females jo ki pehle dabbe mein reserved hain to last dabbe mein jana strt ho jaati hain, den we see many men also doing the same, and den as the metro doors open, they all rush towards the escalators and create a jam dre and i can easly catch them wen i reach the stairs as they r stil walking baby steps batao kya fayda hua, metro walk mein hi chale jaate...kuch fun to hota.
final category of the post,

Pushkar Mela : the name has already given away all the info i guess...so main to itna hi kahunga...metro mein jitne marzr dabbe laga lo...jitni marzi seating badha lo...jab tak logon mein basic common sense nahi aayegi ghanta kuch ni sudharne wala...! and i can give this in writing. old se old unkle jo seat ke liye puppy eyes wali shakal banayege....seat pakadne ke liye aise bhaagte hain jaise ki bas agar u come in his way...and uski elbow aapko lagi to 1-2 rib fracture to pakki hain..!! bade bade unkle aunty...seat ke liye aise ladte hain jaise hum chutpann mein skool bus mein ladte the window seat ke liye. hadh hai hadh.....
ab maana never let the kid in you die but dont be a kid that results in the death of the adult...

P.S. - NO DISCLAIMER....i m not afraid or ashamed of mentioning any of this here (waise bhi padhne bhi kon wala hai ;p)

Thursday, 1 December 2011

Metro Maniacs - War of Dj'z

hey readers....this is a series i m starting (hopefully it wil last longer than the word "series" atleast)

We begin by two of the most infamous characters we find in the Delhi transport system...be it DTC or Metro.
Haryana ka Jaat & Bihar ka Bhaiya

A chilly winter night...cool breeeze blowing thru ur clothes occasionally making u nt shiver bt jst tingle for a fraction of second. u enter the underground metro station...its warm in here... waiting for the metro u hav chkd out al the gals around if dre any at this hour...scanned all d ads put up on the billboards...and keeping a constant eye on the clock staring at ur face showing the remaining time for the next metro...n den u feel the breeze that precedes the incoming metro..n u anticipate ki yeh 4 wali metro hai ya 6 wali....bt u have no choice n u enter...

most of the compartments are khaali...so u pick d one at d end and sit comfortably.

HOLD..... before i badho aage....lemme introduce d characters....as in some of their traits....

Jaat n Bhaiya....both have usually a volume decible level higher than any other u mite have an encounter with. wen dey speak dey make it sure ki apart from the person they are talkin to...every other living n non-living being in their vicinity can hear them...
Both Jaat n Bhaiya have their national outfit....commonly a shirt and a trouser....bt as the fashion trends are changing so are they...Jaats at a much faster rate than Bhaiyas... u wil stil find most Bhaiyas in a Bel-bottoms wali pant and a full sleeves wali shirt with cuff buttons band and the shirt never tucked in.
In both their cases....u can take out a Jaat from Haryana and a Bhaiya from Bihar BUT...never...never Harayana from a Jaat and Bihar from a Bhaiya....the moment they use their tongues u get to knw. full stop.

Now u have got a fair idea of the characters...so lets place them in the whole scene and lets see how the story unfurls. 
So, u are seated in metro...n as the metro strts to leave the station...u luk around and u notice ki on ur left is a Jaat n on ur right is a Bhaiya... nothing imp to give a even a second thot. the train moves...and suddenly u hear a song "Ik pal ka jeena" from the muvie "Kaho na pyaar hai" and the Jaat is the one playin it on his fone. ok u have nothing else to do so ur attention is diverted to the song....a moment later u hear the song "Faltu" from the muvie "Faltu" from ur right...n u cn see its d Bhaiya on his Chinese fone wid sort of double amplifier... now ur attention is divided.... and u get bits of both d songs...

Ik pal ka jeena fir to hai jaana tension wension chod de bacha hoja fully faltu...
khaali haath aaye the hum aayi bala ko taal tu...

suddenly enuf of al dis....songs change almost sath-sath....wich my imaginative mind now makes it a War of Desi Dj'z...next piece of muzic to b mixd...
Daler Mehndi ka famous song "Haayo rabba" vs "Jab we met" ka "Nagada".

then out of the blu...the Jaat asks me..."konsa station aya hai bhaisahab" and apart frm his words i also get a gud amount of gaseous form of alcohol from his mouth n i get to knw d reason behind his Dj-ing talents... ;p i answer him n in few minutes he gets up n goes....leaving our Bhaiya the clear winner....which doesn't calms him down...instead next u listen to is some 90's ka gaana wen many songs sounded similar with music by either Nadeem-Shravan or Jatin-Lalit, singers mein to Udit Narayan or Kumar Sanu and Alka Yagnik or Kavita Krishamurthy...(i forgot the exact name of songs now, saaare same se hi lagte the). then another one and then aonther....
i even statrtd foot tapping to those songs...and i realised i ws the only one doing so, observing, njoying al this....everyone else in the metro cud not care less...i lukd at the winnner of the Dj war...the Bhaiya..n he ws buzy starting at his fone...maybe all these were video songs...maybe he ws bizy reading dirty msgs...;p or maybe he was watchin porn...n music was jst a cover up coz his free hand was so strategically placed....;p ;p kidding...dey were video songs....i saw it later....

the show was bout to end as i got up to get down at my station...and left the winner to himself....he moving towards his ecstasy and i moving towards escalators.

p.s. - iss kahani ke saare paatr kaalpanik nahi the....puri tarah se waastavik the....parantu...yeh saari meri kaalpnikta ka nateeja bhi ho sakti hai....kisi bhi vyakti ko nirasha ya dukh dene ki meri koi neeyat nahi thi....aur agar maine aisa kuch naa chahte hue bhi kiya hai to main kshama chahta hun. parantu aise aur teer chalaye jayenge ko kripya apni kursi ki peti baadh kar hi baithein.      dhanyawaad

Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Butt in Choc

jst luv experimenting wid food....be it eatables or drinkable or smellables or watever....hit n trials create awesum wonders...plus presentation.....icing on the cake...
this time the target was a DESSERT... n mind it....it turned out to be a damn heavy dessert (one piece n u r done)....if i say it was heavy, it was heavy.....it ws so heavy...i cant continue writing...although i ate it 2 days ago... ;p ;p ...

p.s. - more experiments on the way.    btw its pronounced as BUTT in SHOCK... ;p

Saturday, 5 November 2011

a letter : 'I to I' or 'eye to eye'

where was i wrong? or was i wrong at all? what did i do wrong? or what went wrong? what was the thing that turned it off? or was it ever on? where does the reason lies? why the hell am i behaving in this manner? why are heart and hurt so close buddies? is it really heart or the bloody mind is involved too? so should i say, why the hell am i not able to control my mind? then does it means that, it is mind games rather than heart with love flames? did i push too much or i just did not push at all? we learn from our mistakes, but isn't it important to know where they lie? although it was one of the best experiences, so should i be contended with the experience only? is it fair to wish to have a time-turner or a reset button to go back to square one? was anything ever there or is it just a creation of my over imaginative mind? we are just a fragment of a fraction of a fraction of our minds, are we? mind! why are things leading to this word again and again (i thought, heart was the culprit)? had i acted in a slightly different manner, would there have been a different outcome? is there an outcome at all? why do the things have to be in hints, can't life be simpler? do i really need to change myself in order to get results in my favor, i dont want to, but do i? the lines here all seem to be left aligned but why do i feel left un-aligned? i dont want to regret or forget anything, but there ought to be something that points to something that can answer me? now do i let it slip by (i dont want to), or still try to get a hold of it (i want to, don't i)?
now am i pouring my heart out here or my heart is just minding its own business and my mind has suddenly got a heart of its own? 

p.s. - dis doesn't seems like a letter to me but a question paper by me.

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Love-errs n Bites

"Love is like fire or like a pebble. It is like fire because it can work both ways. Just like fire can give you light and burn you alive, love can either bring light to your life, but if you become obsessed with it, it can destroy you. Like fire, love is capable of consuming you completely. It is like a pebble because the smallest of pebbles, when thrown in water, can create ripples in it. Similarly, the smallest drop of love in your life can make a difference."

These were the words spoken by my wife, and these were the words I remembered as I stood there, my gun pointed at the man in front of me. My entire married life of 3 years was flashing before my eyes as I now looked at the man I had hunted for one long year, the man I hated with an intensity that had surprised even me, the man who had killed my wife.

How vividly I remembered the three most beautiful years of my life! The arranged marriage to which I had agreed after much persuasion by my parents…..the meetings before the marriage, or the shortage of them due to my job as a policeman…..the awkwardness during and after the marriage…..the process of getting to know each other gradually…..the journey from two strangers to friends…..and finally the culmination of friendship into love.

The belated honeymoon in Goa in the second year of our marriage…..that romantic evening when I had knelt down beside her, held her hands in mine and thanked her sincerely for being so patient and understanding with me, she had done the same…..the sheer bliss in the months that followed.
And then the savage intrusion on our beautiful world exactly one week before our third anniversary. It was an evening like any other evening when I came home from work at my usual time and let myself in with my latch key. It was a few minutes before the feeling hit me; something wasn't right. The house was too goddamn silent. There wasn't the usual clatter of dishes, the whistle of the pressure cooker, the smell of freshly cooked food. Just a sinister silence which I didn't like.

I glanced at the shoe-rack. Her sandals were there, so were her high heels; she hadn't gone out. I drew out my service revolver and advanced towards the bedroom. The door was ajar. I pushed it open and walked in. She was there, sitting in a corner. She was deathly pale and looking with frightened eyes at the man in front of her. He turned as the door opened and I saw the heavy iron crowbar in his hands. One look at his face told me that he was high on some drug, possibly methamphetamine. I raised my gun just as he heaved the crowbar at me. It hit me on the left side of my face and I slammed against the wall, my gun falling to the floor. She screamed and sprang up. Out of the haze descending over me, I saw him pick up my gun and point it at her.

"Get back!" he snarled at her. "Don't you dare move!"

I shook my head to clear it and pushed myself up. Mustering all my strength, I charged towards him and he fired at me point-blank. I could feel the bullet shatter my left thighbone. The pain was excruciating. I screamed and fell down with a thud. She shrieked my name and ran towards me. And out of the mist that was slowly enveloping me, I saw him level the gun on her.

"I told you not to move!" he snarled. "I told you!"

And then he shot her.

I lay there and watched in helpless frustration as he emptied the revolver into her body, threw the gun on the floor and ran out. I heard her whisper my name before I passed out. I remembered all this as I now stood before that very man in the two-room flat on the third floor of a shabby building. I remembered how I had had myself put on the team investigating her murder, how our investigation had led us to one of the biggest dealers in methamphetamine, how we had grilled him about his customers until he had divulged the identity of the man who, under the influence of methamphetamine, had destroyed my life. And now here I was thanks to a tip off by an informer, face to face with that very man. I looked at him, looked right into his eyes and I liked what I saw. I saw fear.

The one officer I had brought with me was covering the staircase and the constables were covering the exits. There was nobody to stop me. I would shoot him down and my revenge would be complete.
"Don't do it, Dev," I heard a voice say. It was Ins. Abhay Suryavanshi, the officer who had come with me.
"What the hell are you doing up here?" I snapped without taking my eyes off the killer. "You had orders to wait down on the stairs!"

"I know," Abhay said, slowly walking towards me. "But I had to come up. I had an idea you would try something like this."

"What do you expect?" I spat the words out. "He killed my wife, shattered my whole goddamn world."
"Doesn't mean you should get yourself into trouble. Let the law deal with him."

The killer spoke for the first time. "Look here. I am willing to give myself up, just don't kill me." He turned to Abhay. "Don't let him kill me."

"Shut up!" I shouted. "It's no use begging for mercy because you are not getting any. Did you show any mercy to my wife?"

"You aren't leaving me with much of a choice, Dev" said Abhay.

"Do whatever you want, Abhay. This man isn't getting out of here alive." I retorted and I meant it. I was going to have my revenge if it was the last thing I did on earth.

Abhay addressed the killer. "The door behind you, it's your only chance. Run for it." I glanced at the door. It looked like a connecting door between two flats. It was ajar and I could see another door on the other side which was open. The building was located in a sleazy area, frequented by small time criminals. The flats must have been provided with multiple exits in case of an emergency, like a police raid.
The man half turned towards the door, then stopped and looked at me. I didn't speak but got ready to fire.
"Leave him to me," Abhay said. "There are constables waiting downstairs. Just go down and surrender yourself. Go on, go, GO!!!"

The man took a couple of steps backwards, then turned and ran to the door. Without hesitating, I squeezed off three shots in quick succession. He slammed against the door and slid down to the floor. His scream filled the room. Then everything was silent.

He was dead. My revenge was complete. Emotion took control over me and for one moment, all I could think of was my wife.

Time ticked ahead. Emotion started to fade away and slowly sense crept in. I looked at Abhay, who was leaning against a wall watching me, then at the dead man. I had expected Abhay to try and stop me. He could have easily spoiled my aim by pushing me or something. He had done nothing of the sort. A faint suspicion stole into my mind.

I looked at him. "Why did it you do it, Abhay?" I asked him. "Why did you make him run for it and then let me shoot him?"

Abhay looked right into my eyes. "What do you think? Had to make it look like an encounter. The seniors would have roasted you over hot coals."

Drawing his gun from the holster, Abhay walked towards the dead man and placed it in his right hand, carefully wrapping the dead man's fingers around it. Then he spoke into his wireless. "Sathe?" he said to Constable Arvind Sathe who was waiting downstairs. "Come up here with the others immediately."

The man took a couple of steps backwards, then turned and ran to the door. Without hesitating, I squeezed off three shots in quick succession. He slammed against the door and slid down to the floor. His scream filled the room. Then everything was silent.

He was dead. My revenge was complete. Emotion took control over me and for one moment, all I could think of was my wife.

Time ticked ahead. Emotion started to fade away and slowly sense crept in. I looked at Abhay, who was leaning against a wall watching me, then at the dead man. I had expected Abhay to try and stop me. He could have easily spoiled my aim by pushing me or something. He had done nothing of the sort. A faint suspicion stole into my mind.

I looked at him. "Why did it you do it, Abhay?" I asked him. "Why did you make him run for it and then let me shoot him?"

Abhay looked right into my eyes. "What do you think? Had to make it look like an encounter. The seniors would have roasted you over hot coals."

Drawing his gun from the holster, Abhay walked towards the dead man and placed it in his right hand, carefully wrapping the dead man's fingers around it. Then he spoke into his wireless.
"Sathe?" he said to Constable Arvind Sathe who was waiting downstairs. "Come up here with the others immediately."

The incident made it to the front page of The Times of India the next day.

DRUG ADDICT KILLED IN ENCOUNTER
Kawaljeet Raichand, a methamphetamine addict and murder accused, was killed in an encounter by Ins Devendra Gore and Ins. Abhay Suryavanshi last night around 10:30 pm. Raichand was wanted for the murder of Ins Gore's wife, Laila whom he is said to have killed under the influence of methamphetamine. He has been on the run since the evening of the murder. According to the statements given by Ins Gore and Ins Suryavanshi, the two officers, along with three constables reached the Apte Nagar area in Dombivli (W) in search of Raichand after receiving a tip-off from an informer. They found the three storey building where Raichand was supposed to be holed up. Ordering the constables to cover the exits, the officers made their way upstairs, found the convict and asked him to surrender. Instead, Raichand tried to attack them and snatched Ins. Gore's gun. In the scuffle that ensued, Raichand was shot dead by Ins. Gore. There are some who say that the two officers deliberately killed Raichand to avenge the death of Ins. Gore's wife. However, all the evidence refutes this allegation. Moreover, a senior officer who did not wish to be named strongly opposed this saying, "Such a killing can be planned only with someone you trust completely, like a close friend. And Dev (Ins Gore) and Abhay (Ins Suryavanshi) are anything but close friends. It can even be said that they hate each other" Several police officers back this statement. It is no secret that the two officers cannot stand each other. No one knows why they worked together on this case. Meanwhile, the reason behind the hard feelings between the two officers continues to be a mystery . . .

Two weeks later, Abhay and I were returning from a scene of murder in a police jeep. It was night-time and I intended to call it a day after reporting to the police station. Abhay was driving and I was sitting in the passenger seat. I decided it was time for some straight questions, and straight answers. Abhay had been avoiding me ever since the 'encounter.' Now I had a chance.

"Abhay."

"Yeah?" he asked without looking at me.

"Why did you do it, Abhay?" I asked him.

He raised his eyebrows.

"Why did I do what?"

"I'm referring to Kawaljeet Raichand."

"What about him?" he asked although I could sense he knew exactly what I was talking about.
"You made his death look like an encounter. You told me exactly what to say to the media, what to report back at the station. Hell, you even arranged for me to go home as soon as possible so that I wouldn't have to answer any awkward questions. Everyone knows that you and I aren't the best of friends. It's common knowledge that we can't stand each other. Still you stuck your neck out for me. Why?"
Abhay took a deep breath. Slowly he brought the jeep to a standstill. He didn't look at me as he spoke.
"I guess you have a right to know. I did it for Laila." The name hit me like a bullet fired point-blank into my face. I stared at him. "Laila?" I asked. "My wife?" He nodded. "I loved her. I loved her more than anything else. We did our junior college together. Even after that I kept track of her, although she didn't know that. I was crazy about her. But I never could tell her how I felt. All I could do was worship from afar. I almost killed myself the day she married you. That was why I hated you. That was why I went out of my way to be nasty to you, not realizing that it wasn't going to help me. I was blind. All I could see was that you had taken her away from me.

Then, the day of her funeral, someone told me that yours was an arranged marriage; that she had married you because it had been her dying father's wish to see her married and settled in life before he died. I couldn't blame her for that. She had married a man who was a stranger to her, but she had adjusted and moved on. I respect her for that. I decided that the least I could do for her was to help you avenge her death. I got myself on the team investigating the case. I worked on it as hard as you did. I guess you noticed that yourself. I made sure you got your revenge and didn't get into trouble over it. I did everything I could, except shoot down that dirty murderer myself. Don't think I didn't feel like it. But that was something only you had a right to do, Dev. She was your wife. She was committed to you. I could never take your place. Besides, I never had to take a bullet in the leg and watch her getting shot. It had to be you, Dev. I just made sure nothing came in your way." He stopped talking and the silence that followed was heavy beyond measure. We just sat there, staring at the road with unseen eyes. "Love is like fire…" the words sprang unbidden to my mind, "…love is capable of consuming you…" It was love for Laila that had consumed Abhay and made him help me. Slowly, I turned towards him and laid a hand on his shoulder. He slowly turned his head. For one long moment, we looked at each other with tear-filled eyes. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm so sorry." Then the moment passed. We wiped the tears from our eyes and blew our noses into our hankies. Abhay started the ignition and drove towards the police station. We were ourselves again; two battle-hardened, tough-as-nails cops going about their business. But now there existed a bond between us that we had never known before.