Metro Maniacs - Metro Man-yucks

Heyya...

well...its taking a hell lot more tym than i thot it wud in structuring these maniacs....its jst lyk u hav got a season of episodes ready to be aired on tv, bt are nt able to decide which one to go in first. same is the scene here...many incomplete and uncensored are lying here n there scattered in my mail draft box, mobile draft box, brain draft box..(wish dre were sum in demand draft box for me... ;p) it seems draw of lots d best option to pick, complete, edit n post.

so here we are this time, talking bout MAN as in human being in general and not any gender biases...! so how does a man i.e. human being behaves when suddenly public transport becomes sophisticated, sumwat comfortable, air conditioned...i say...its js lyk buying a new gadget, gizmo...initially u wil take xtreme gud care...lamination karaoge...scratch guard lagaoge....cover mein daaloge...bt fir dheere dheere...ek scratch padega...fir do...fir aur aane do...ki farak penda hai...!!! den u wil js keep it anywhre...dhoool padegi uspe...galti se sabzi bhi giregi uspe...etcc etccc. metro bhi ab it seems scratch wali stage cross karne wali hai. so lemme jst bring on the characters in diff categories as we go ahead...

SpitsVilla : here we have men trying to make delhi metro a long lost sibling of dilli ki buses and mumbai ki local. there is no particular lead actor here but bhaiya from our previous post leads the charts. it seems kaafi der se unko baandh ke rakha hua tha metro mein thookne se...now they have jst broken thru, ab nahi raha jaata...!! ;p  here r a few styles they choose, Olympic Spit - metro and platform ke beech wala gap, saalon ka aim to dekho, archery fail ho jayegi. Pigeon Spit - metro platform se neeche road pe....speed, distance, time ki perfect application. there are many more spits but usse zada imp aur categories hain.

Pisstol : here is one thing that i wud neva neva neva have imagined, even in buses or local or anywhre...bt this bhaiya (specifically) has left his mark here too...jo metro ke dabbe ke beech joint hota hai naa...wahan pe bhaiya ne apne bachche ko susu karaya....bhari metro mein din dahade....itne gawahon ke saamne...judge sahab..!....main hota na wahan to sahi mein ya to rakh ke deta usko kaan ke neeche ya complaint karta zarooooor....bloody hell f#4*er....(this incident is aankhon dekhi by my ofc colleague, reported by me)

Mygration : sarkar ne kaha pehla dabba chod do...old unkle ne kaha mere liye seat chod do...dmrc ne kaha pehle chadhna chod do...ab tume kehte ho ki station aane se pehle chalna bhi chod dun...(devdas style)... this above dialog is perfectly suited for many ppl traveling daily, both males n females. i ve been observing this for past 1.5 mnth, saala last stop aane se pehle hi log metro mein aage se peeche ki taraf chalna strt ho jaate hain...and for only one reason, pichla door escalators ke paas aata hai. hadh hai...n iss walk ki strt karti hain females jo ki pehle dabbe mein reserved hain to last dabbe mein jana strt ho jaati hain, den we see many men also doing the same, and den as the metro doors open, they all rush towards the escalators and create a jam dre and i can easly catch them wen i reach the stairs as they r stil walking baby steps batao kya fayda hua, metro walk mein hi chale jaate...kuch fun to hota.

final category of the post,

Pushkar Mela : the name has already given away all the info i guess...so main to itna hi kahunga...metro mein jitne marzr dabbe laga lo...jitni marzi seating badha lo...jab tak logon mein basic common sense nahi aayegi ghanta kuch ni sudharne wala...! and i can give this in writing. old se old unkle jo seat ke liye puppy eyes wali shakal banayege....seat pakadne ke liye aise bhaagte hain jaise ki bas agar u come in his way...and uski elbow aapko lagi to 1-2 rib fracture to pakki hain..!! bade bade unkle aunty...seat ke liye aise ladte hain jaise hum chutpann mein skool bus mein ladte the window seat ke liye. hadh hai hadh.....

ab maana never let the kid in you die but dont be a kid that results in the death of the adult...

P.S. - NO DISCLAIMER....i m not afraid or ashamed of mentioning any of this here (waise bhi padhne bhi kon wala hai ;p)