Tuesday 22 November 2011

Butt in Choc

jst luv experimenting wid food....be it eatables or drinkable or smellables or watever....hit n trials create awesum wonders...plus presentation.....icing on the cake...
this time the target was a DESSERT... n mind it....it turned out to be a damn heavy dessert (one piece n u r done)....if i say it was heavy, it was heavy.....it ws so heavy...i cant continue writing...although i ate it 2 days ago... ;p ;p ...

p.s. - more experiments on the way.    btw its pronounced as BUTT in SHOCK... ;p

Saturday 5 November 2011

a letter : 'I to I' or 'eye to eye'

where was i wrong? or was i wrong at all? what did i do wrong? or what went wrong? what was the thing that turned it off? or was it ever on? where does the reason lies? why the hell am i behaving in this manner? why are heart and hurt so close buddies? is it really heart or the bloody mind is involved too? so should i say, why the hell am i not able to control my mind? then does it means that, it is mind games rather than heart with love flames? did i push too much or i just did not push at all? we learn from our mistakes, but isn't it important to know where they lie? although it was one of the best experiences, so should i be contended with the experience only? is it fair to wish to have a time-turner or a reset button to go back to square one? was anything ever there or is it just a creation of my over imaginative mind? we are just a fragment of a fraction of a fraction of our minds, are we? mind! why are things leading to this word again and again (i thought, heart was the culprit)? had i acted in a slightly different manner, would there have been a different outcome? is there an outcome at all? why do the things have to be in hints, can't life be simpler? do i really need to change myself in order to get results in my favor, i dont want to, but do i? the lines here all seem to be left aligned but why do i feel left un-aligned? i dont want to regret or forget anything, but there ought to be something that points to something that can answer me? now do i let it slip by (i dont want to), or still try to get a hold of it (i want to, don't i)?
now am i pouring my heart out here or my heart is just minding its own business and my mind has suddenly got a heart of its own? 

p.s. - dis doesn't seems like a letter to me but a question paper by me.

Tuesday 1 November 2011

Love-errs n Bites

"Love is like fire or like a pebble. It is like fire because it can work both ways. Just like fire can give you light and burn you alive, love can either bring light to your life, but if you become obsessed with it, it can destroy you. Like fire, love is capable of consuming you completely. It is like a pebble because the smallest of pebbles, when thrown in water, can create ripples in it. Similarly, the smallest drop of love in your life can make a difference."

These were the words spoken by my wife, and these were the words I remembered as I stood there, my gun pointed at the man in front of me. My entire married life of 3 years was flashing before my eyes as I now looked at the man I had hunted for one long year, the man I hated with an intensity that had surprised even me, the man who had killed my wife.

How vividly I remembered the three most beautiful years of my life! The arranged marriage to which I had agreed after much persuasion by my parents…..the meetings before the marriage, or the shortage of them due to my job as a policeman…..the awkwardness during and after the marriage…..the process of getting to know each other gradually…..the journey from two strangers to friends…..and finally the culmination of friendship into love.

The belated honeymoon in Goa in the second year of our marriage…..that romantic evening when I had knelt down beside her, held her hands in mine and thanked her sincerely for being so patient and understanding with me, she had done the same…..the sheer bliss in the months that followed.
And then the savage intrusion on our beautiful world exactly one week before our third anniversary. It was an evening like any other evening when I came home from work at my usual time and let myself in with my latch key. It was a few minutes before the feeling hit me; something wasn't right. The house was too goddamn silent. There wasn't the usual clatter of dishes, the whistle of the pressure cooker, the smell of freshly cooked food. Just a sinister silence which I didn't like.

I glanced at the shoe-rack. Her sandals were there, so were her high heels; she hadn't gone out. I drew out my service revolver and advanced towards the bedroom. The door was ajar. I pushed it open and walked in. She was there, sitting in a corner. She was deathly pale and looking with frightened eyes at the man in front of her. He turned as the door opened and I saw the heavy iron crowbar in his hands. One look at his face told me that he was high on some drug, possibly methamphetamine. I raised my gun just as he heaved the crowbar at me. It hit me on the left side of my face and I slammed against the wall, my gun falling to the floor. She screamed and sprang up. Out of the haze descending over me, I saw him pick up my gun and point it at her.

"Get back!" he snarled at her. "Don't you dare move!"

I shook my head to clear it and pushed myself up. Mustering all my strength, I charged towards him and he fired at me point-blank. I could feel the bullet shatter my left thighbone. The pain was excruciating. I screamed and fell down with a thud. She shrieked my name and ran towards me. And out of the mist that was slowly enveloping me, I saw him level the gun on her.

"I told you not to move!" he snarled. "I told you!"

And then he shot her.

I lay there and watched in helpless frustration as he emptied the revolver into her body, threw the gun on the floor and ran out. I heard her whisper my name before I passed out. I remembered all this as I now stood before that very man in the two-room flat on the third floor of a shabby building. I remembered how I had had myself put on the team investigating her murder, how our investigation had led us to one of the biggest dealers in methamphetamine, how we had grilled him about his customers until he had divulged the identity of the man who, under the influence of methamphetamine, had destroyed my life. And now here I was thanks to a tip off by an informer, face to face with that very man. I looked at him, looked right into his eyes and I liked what I saw. I saw fear.

The one officer I had brought with me was covering the staircase and the constables were covering the exits. There was nobody to stop me. I would shoot him down and my revenge would be complete.
"Don't do it, Dev," I heard a voice say. It was Ins. Abhay Suryavanshi, the officer who had come with me.
"What the hell are you doing up here?" I snapped without taking my eyes off the killer. "You had orders to wait down on the stairs!"

"I know," Abhay said, slowly walking towards me. "But I had to come up. I had an idea you would try something like this."

"What do you expect?" I spat the words out. "He killed my wife, shattered my whole goddamn world."
"Doesn't mean you should get yourself into trouble. Let the law deal with him."

The killer spoke for the first time. "Look here. I am willing to give myself up, just don't kill me." He turned to Abhay. "Don't let him kill me."

"Shut up!" I shouted. "It's no use begging for mercy because you are not getting any. Did you show any mercy to my wife?"

"You aren't leaving me with much of a choice, Dev" said Abhay.

"Do whatever you want, Abhay. This man isn't getting out of here alive." I retorted and I meant it. I was going to have my revenge if it was the last thing I did on earth.

Abhay addressed the killer. "The door behind you, it's your only chance. Run for it." I glanced at the door. It looked like a connecting door between two flats. It was ajar and I could see another door on the other side which was open. The building was located in a sleazy area, frequented by small time criminals. The flats must have been provided with multiple exits in case of an emergency, like a police raid.
The man half turned towards the door, then stopped and looked at me. I didn't speak but got ready to fire.
"Leave him to me," Abhay said. "There are constables waiting downstairs. Just go down and surrender yourself. Go on, go, GO!!!"

The man took a couple of steps backwards, then turned and ran to the door. Without hesitating, I squeezed off three shots in quick succession. He slammed against the door and slid down to the floor. His scream filled the room. Then everything was silent.

He was dead. My revenge was complete. Emotion took control over me and for one moment, all I could think of was my wife.

Time ticked ahead. Emotion started to fade away and slowly sense crept in. I looked at Abhay, who was leaning against a wall watching me, then at the dead man. I had expected Abhay to try and stop me. He could have easily spoiled my aim by pushing me or something. He had done nothing of the sort. A faint suspicion stole into my mind.

I looked at him. "Why did it you do it, Abhay?" I asked him. "Why did you make him run for it and then let me shoot him?"

Abhay looked right into my eyes. "What do you think? Had to make it look like an encounter. The seniors would have roasted you over hot coals."

Drawing his gun from the holster, Abhay walked towards the dead man and placed it in his right hand, carefully wrapping the dead man's fingers around it. Then he spoke into his wireless. "Sathe?" he said to Constable Arvind Sathe who was waiting downstairs. "Come up here with the others immediately."

The man took a couple of steps backwards, then turned and ran to the door. Without hesitating, I squeezed off three shots in quick succession. He slammed against the door and slid down to the floor. His scream filled the room. Then everything was silent.

He was dead. My revenge was complete. Emotion took control over me and for one moment, all I could think of was my wife.

Time ticked ahead. Emotion started to fade away and slowly sense crept in. I looked at Abhay, who was leaning against a wall watching me, then at the dead man. I had expected Abhay to try and stop me. He could have easily spoiled my aim by pushing me or something. He had done nothing of the sort. A faint suspicion stole into my mind.

I looked at him. "Why did it you do it, Abhay?" I asked him. "Why did you make him run for it and then let me shoot him?"

Abhay looked right into my eyes. "What do you think? Had to make it look like an encounter. The seniors would have roasted you over hot coals."

Drawing his gun from the holster, Abhay walked towards the dead man and placed it in his right hand, carefully wrapping the dead man's fingers around it. Then he spoke into his wireless.
"Sathe?" he said to Constable Arvind Sathe who was waiting downstairs. "Come up here with the others immediately."

The incident made it to the front page of The Times of India the next day.

DRUG ADDICT KILLED IN ENCOUNTER
Kawaljeet Raichand, a methamphetamine addict and murder accused, was killed in an encounter by Ins Devendra Gore and Ins. Abhay Suryavanshi last night around 10:30 pm. Raichand was wanted for the murder of Ins Gore's wife, Laila whom he is said to have killed under the influence of methamphetamine. He has been on the run since the evening of the murder. According to the statements given by Ins Gore and Ins Suryavanshi, the two officers, along with three constables reached the Apte Nagar area in Dombivli (W) in search of Raichand after receiving a tip-off from an informer. They found the three storey building where Raichand was supposed to be holed up. Ordering the constables to cover the exits, the officers made their way upstairs, found the convict and asked him to surrender. Instead, Raichand tried to attack them and snatched Ins. Gore's gun. In the scuffle that ensued, Raichand was shot dead by Ins. Gore. There are some who say that the two officers deliberately killed Raichand to avenge the death of Ins. Gore's wife. However, all the evidence refutes this allegation. Moreover, a senior officer who did not wish to be named strongly opposed this saying, "Such a killing can be planned only with someone you trust completely, like a close friend. And Dev (Ins Gore) and Abhay (Ins Suryavanshi) are anything but close friends. It can even be said that they hate each other" Several police officers back this statement. It is no secret that the two officers cannot stand each other. No one knows why they worked together on this case. Meanwhile, the reason behind the hard feelings between the two officers continues to be a mystery . . .

Two weeks later, Abhay and I were returning from a scene of murder in a police jeep. It was night-time and I intended to call it a day after reporting to the police station. Abhay was driving and I was sitting in the passenger seat. I decided it was time for some straight questions, and straight answers. Abhay had been avoiding me ever since the 'encounter.' Now I had a chance.

"Abhay."

"Yeah?" he asked without looking at me.

"Why did you do it, Abhay?" I asked him.

He raised his eyebrows.

"Why did I do what?"

"I'm referring to Kawaljeet Raichand."

"What about him?" he asked although I could sense he knew exactly what I was talking about.
"You made his death look like an encounter. You told me exactly what to say to the media, what to report back at the station. Hell, you even arranged for me to go home as soon as possible so that I wouldn't have to answer any awkward questions. Everyone knows that you and I aren't the best of friends. It's common knowledge that we can't stand each other. Still you stuck your neck out for me. Why?"
Abhay took a deep breath. Slowly he brought the jeep to a standstill. He didn't look at me as he spoke.
"I guess you have a right to know. I did it for Laila." The name hit me like a bullet fired point-blank into my face. I stared at him. "Laila?" I asked. "My wife?" He nodded. "I loved her. I loved her more than anything else. We did our junior college together. Even after that I kept track of her, although she didn't know that. I was crazy about her. But I never could tell her how I felt. All I could do was worship from afar. I almost killed myself the day she married you. That was why I hated you. That was why I went out of my way to be nasty to you, not realizing that it wasn't going to help me. I was blind. All I could see was that you had taken her away from me.

Then, the day of her funeral, someone told me that yours was an arranged marriage; that she had married you because it had been her dying father's wish to see her married and settled in life before he died. I couldn't blame her for that. She had married a man who was a stranger to her, but she had adjusted and moved on. I respect her for that. I decided that the least I could do for her was to help you avenge her death. I got myself on the team investigating the case. I worked on it as hard as you did. I guess you noticed that yourself. I made sure you got your revenge and didn't get into trouble over it. I did everything I could, except shoot down that dirty murderer myself. Don't think I didn't feel like it. But that was something only you had a right to do, Dev. She was your wife. She was committed to you. I could never take your place. Besides, I never had to take a bullet in the leg and watch her getting shot. It had to be you, Dev. I just made sure nothing came in your way." He stopped talking and the silence that followed was heavy beyond measure. We just sat there, staring at the road with unseen eyes. "Love is like fire…" the words sprang unbidden to my mind, "…love is capable of consuming you…" It was love for Laila that had consumed Abhay and made him help me. Slowly, I turned towards him and laid a hand on his shoulder. He slowly turned his head. For one long moment, we looked at each other with tear-filled eyes. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm so sorry." Then the moment passed. We wiped the tears from our eyes and blew our noses into our hankies. Abhay started the ignition and drove towards the police station. We were ourselves again; two battle-hardened, tough-as-nails cops going about their business. But now there existed a bond between us that we had never known before.